The Harsh Reality: Mothers, Your Actions Shape Your Daughters’ Future

Female Philosopher
3 min readAug 27, 2023

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Let’s not sugarcoat this — as a mother, the weight of the world is on your shoulders when it comes to molding your daughter’s character and cognitive abilities.

Photo by guille pozzi on Unsplash

It’s time to face the music and acknowledge that your actions and attitudes have an indelible impact.

A mother has a significant impact on her daughter’s life in various aspects, such as emotional, social, cognitive, and psychological development. The mother-daughter relationship is often considered one of the most influential in a girl’s life.

Here are some ways in which a mother can impact her daughter:

This is not about putting you on a guilt trip but rather pushing you to step up and make a difference in your daughter’s life.

Here’s why and how:

Be Present or Be Missed

You can’t just be physically present and mentally absent. Your daughter needs more than a placeholder. If you’re not actively participating in her life, who is? Be the mother who listens, engages, and genuinely cares. If not, your absence leaves a void that could be filled with influences you don’t want.

Mess Up But Own Up

As a mother, you’re not infallible. You’ll mess up, but the critical thing here is to own it. Show your daughter that it’s human to err, but it’s commendable to accept mistakes and learn from them. If you keep playing the blame game or shrugging off your errors, don’t be surprised if your daughter grows up doing the same.

Put Up or Shut Up

Encouragement Matters
You might think you’re “keeping it real” with constant criticism, but there’s a thin line between being honest and being destructive. If you can’t be a wellspring of encouragement for your daughter, who will? Don’t create a home where the air is thick with negativity. Your words are the building blocks of her self-esteem.

Don’t Be an Emotional Stone

If you can’t handle your emotions, how can you expect your daughter to? You need to be a pillar of emotional strength and wisdom. If you’re constantly flying off the handle or bottling things up, that’s the script you’re handing her for life.

Practice What You Preach

What values are you demonstrating through your actions? Are you embodying the principles you hope your daughter will adopt? If there’s a disparity between what you say and what you do, you’re setting your daughter up for confusion and skepticism. Be the person you want her to become.

Don’t Be a Helicopter — Let Her Fly

Overbearing mothers, take note. You can’t spoon-feed every decision and cushion every fall. Sometimes you have to let go and allow your daughter to navigate challenges on her own. She needs to develop her wings, and she can’t do that if you’re always hovering.

Love Is a Given, Not a Bargain

If your love is conditional and subject to terms and conditions, you’re doing it wrong. Don’t be the mother who makes her daughter feel like she has to earn love. Unconditional love is not a luxury — it’s a necessity for her well-being.

The Bottom Line

Motherhood is not a walk in the park, and not everyone is cut out for it. However, if you have the privilege of being a mother, especially to a daughter, you have a moral obligation to be the best you can be. The future of a human being is partly in your hands. Don’t screw it up. Make conscious choices that contribute positively to your daughter’s development, and remember that she is always watching and learning from you.

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Female Philosopher
Female Philosopher

Written by Female Philosopher

Rigorous thinker & analyzer of ideas transmuted into unique perspectives covering vast dimensions. Abstract insights benefit #everyone...

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